The Hives!! A tale of love, marriage, disappearances and people who possibly don't exist!

Has anyone ever heard another band like the Hives? Has anyone ever seen another band quite like them? If you think the answer is yes, then maybe you should read on...

The Hives started in 1993, when the ever-mysterious Randy Fitzsimmons guided four young musicians together to form a garage rock bad. Thier formation is shrouded in mystery like a mitten of disillusion; the credentials of Fitzsimmons, along with his definite existence, have never been confirmed, a fact never helped by the bizarre nature of the Hives themselves, creating constant and conflicting rumours as to Fitzsimmons identity.

It appears however, that it was Fitzsimmons who leant them a huge house in a small town in Sweden, which they named Hive Manor. The four young men joined the local college, but were outcasts of their own making. None of them were ever seen alone or spoke a word to anyone else, and at the end of college every day they would disappear to their Hive Manor, set on the outskirts of town. If anyone came knocking at the door of the mansion they might hear the sounds of muffled guitars on their approach, but the moment they knocked all sound would stop for as long as they chose to wait outside, with no answer ever coming!

One day, the Hives decided their time had come and suddenly they were everywhere, playing over 20 gigs in a very short space of time. They literally exploded onto the scene; with everything they played already tighter than Jon Bon Jovi's trousers they could launch into any song without even being counted in. This band was the Hives and oh did they hit the ground running? No, they hit it with all the speed and grace of a cheetah! This band had their sound, their gimmicks, their talent and their individuality fully formed before the first live note was ever played! Every gig since the very first they have dressed entirely in black and white, every gig they have needed only their amps, guitars, drums and 3 straight mic stands to put a full throttle theatrical show, and at every gig since the first the front man Howlin' Pele Almqvist has proclaimed them the greatest band in the world...constantly.

They were signed by Burning Heat records and released their first album 'Veni Vidi Vicious' and set about touring extensively to promote it. Now my friend if you have read this far you are surely wondering who these gods amoung men are? Who is it who creates these uniquely fantastic and fantastically unique sounds? Introducing THE HIVES!

Vocals: Howlin Pele Almqvist

Guitars: Nicholaus Arson

Vigilante Carlstroem

Drums:Chris Dangerous

The ever mysterious sixth Hive (who writes all the music... apparently): Randy Fitzsimmons!

They quickly rose to fame, gracing VIP parties the world over, but it was their next move that would take them from famous to the infamous... they disappeared!!

Yes dear reader you are not mistaken, they vanished. Press scoured the earth, but to no avail. The Hives had stopped playing gigs, stopped partying, stopped touring, they had decided it was time for a second album and had disappeared to make this.

BANG! That was the sound of yet another explosion of Swedish punk sound energy, heralding the arrival of 'Tyrannosaurus Hives'. Yes The Hives were back from the mountains, valleys, glaciers and moose of Sweden with another fine offering! They followed the same pattern as before, appearances to spread more rumours as to the identity of Randy Fitzsimmons (It has been discovered that the name is a registered pseudonym of Nicholaus Arson, but who is to say tis isn't a very black and white , Hive shaped red herring?!)

The live performance was still just as fresh, the band having seemingly limitless amounts of energy and Howlin' Pele talking constantly and nonsensically to the crowd in his Texan/Swedish drawl-at V festival in 2005 he married himself to the crowd in the 'the name of Hard Rock' then crowned himself King of England!

The Hives have since retired from the limelight just as completely as before as they create their third album, rumoured to be entitled 'The Worlds First Perfect Album'. Who knows if it will be? One thing we know for sure is that Howlin' Pele will be telling audiences across the world that it is, and that The Hives are the best band in the world. The only question really is when? When oh when will we get another dose of that mind-blowing hard rock cocaine we call the Hives? I, for one, just cant wait!

By V-d bomb.... a wannabe Hive!